In My Heart Forever
by Fires Of Raze
Summary: Songfic... Ryo finally admitted his love to Dee but just as things were going well for them, Ryo gets murdered by a gang that they were supposed to be taking care of and Dee has to cope with his loss... Summary sucks, please read. Song 'Never Gone' by BSB


_Disclaimer: I don't own FAKE so don't sue me. I'm poor. Oh and "Never Gone" belongs to the Backstreet Boys, even though I'd love to have their money lol_

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**In My Heart Forever**

The sun shone down brightly on the walls of New York's 27th Precinct, radiating through the faint clouds off the colors of the flowers that sprouted up all around the area. Inside, the florecent lights kept it looking bright as the day outside, just as the activity swarming the halls was just as busy as the traffic all throughout the city. Though nothing compared to the honking and chattering of the outside, the precinct was full of the sounds of rustling papers, computers, telephones, angry voices of criminals being questioned or taken off to jail and calls back and forth between officers exchanging information or telling off plans for later.

One office however, compared to the rest of the building, was quiet, the door was shut and inside the blinds were closed against the bright sunlight outside. Two desks filled up the considerably large office, along with filing cabinets, two chairs infront of each desk, along with one behind for the officers, and a couch infront of the window sided on one side by a small tree and a table on the other. One of the desks was covered in clutter... Miscellaneous folders and stray papers were littered all over the desk and around the computer, in front of which sat the man who's cases they were.

Detective Dee Laytner sat staring down at the case in front of him, his hands in his raven black hair and dark circles under his eyes... Eyes that were usually such a bright, twinkling green but now seemed fogged over, as if a cloud had come from outside and settled right in his eyes. His skintone had also changed over the past couple years, becoming more pale from all the time he spent inside rather then getting out in the sunshine like he once had.

After several hours but still far away from when his shift was ending, he slapped the file closed and covered his face in his hands, trying to block out thoughts of the case so his head would stop swirling with information. His headache ceased after a few minutes but with those thoughts gone, other more painful ones were free to swarm into his mind from deep in his memory, thoughts of his partner who had so brutally been killed in the line of duty only a couple years ago...

_The things we did, the things we said  
Keep coming back to me and make me smile again  
You showed me how to face the truth  
Everything that's good in me I owe to you_

Looking over at the unoccupied desk next to his own, he was forced to smile softly at the sight of Ryo's old mug in the same place as always and the fake sunflowers in the vase on the corner of his desk. After Ryo had died, everyone in the detective department had tried to get him to take on another partner but he'd refused them all, saying his partner was still with him always and that it was nothing they could ever understand, especially since his care for him had run so far... So deep that he'd longed for him everyday after first meeting him, when he'd almost immediatly fallen head-over-heels in love with the dark eyes, blonde haired man who had instantly become his better half.

Two years. That was all that had passed since that day when Ryo Maclean had walked into his life. Over that time, Dee had hit on him constantly, trying desperatly to get into his pants at almost every opportunity, whereas Ryo was constantly pushing him off and trying to keep his clothing on as Dee pawed at him. Ryo had always been the more mature, serious type, making Dee's playfullness and laziness show out even more. Finally, after almost a year of nagging and begging and deep passionate kisses, Ryo had finally accepted his love just as the other was ready to let him go. They had moved in together into Ryo's house and adopted Bikky as their own, which Ryo had already planned in the first place.

For a year afterwards they had lived happily together and even the commisioner, Berkley Rose, had had to admit that the quality of Dee's work had improved after Ryo had accepted him fully into his life. Then one Tuesday, a normal day just like any other, the two of them had gotten a call from one of the other officers that they were needed down at an abandoned warehouse where a gang was holed up and had started firing at the police. They had rushed down and were met by the chief who told them that Dee was to stay on ground behind the cars and watch for anyone who came out, whereas the two snipers, Ryo and JJ, were to go up on the roof of the neighboring building then hop onto the warehouse roof and slink inside to stand watch on the rafters and try to take out the gang one by one if they started shooting again.

Twenty minutes later, right after the two snipers had gotten into position, gunshots were fired at the police again, echoing through against the buildings and ricocheting off the cars as the cops ducked to prevent being shot. Over the roar of their guns, smaller gunshots were heard and the shooting stopped, a few of the gunmen left laying in pools of their own blood, shot dead by the hidden snipers above them. The police outside rose up alittle, cautious but wanting to see what was going on then congradulated the snipers on their nice shots through ear pieces that the two wore. Unbeknownst to any of them though, one of the gang members had seen where the shots were coming from and had snuck up to the rafters by a ladder that was leaned against the wall of the warehouse and while they were being congradulated on their good work so far, the man was slowly and silently sneaking along the rafter to where the nearest sniper sat.

A scream of terror suddenly ripped through the night, a scream that would haunt Dee's dreams for years to come, and all the cops sat behind their cars, unable to do anything as they heard on their radios JJ screaming Ryo's name. Multiple gunshots rang out, cutting off the scream abruptly and then silence... No sound at all other then the soft crackling of the radios. Then in the darkness of the oncoming night, the door of the warehouse opened and a shadowed figure was tossed out.

"One down coppers! You send any more in and they'll all start coming out in pieces!" One of the gang members called then shut the door quickly, the slam echoing against the other buildings. From that point on, Dee's memories became nothing but a blur. He remembered someone screaming Ryo's name, later he was told it was himself, and hands holding him back as he tried to retrieve his lover. He remembered gunshots being fired as the other officers killed off the rest of the gang members, with JJ's help, and then the sight of his hands covered in blood when he was able to run to Ryo. Luckily the sight of his murdered lover had been too bad for his mind to comprehend and he couldn't conjure up the memory of what his bullet-ridded body looked like on that night, but what he did remember was horrible enough...

_Though the distance that's between us  
Now may seem to be too far  
It will never seperate us  
Deep inside I know you are_

Never gone, never far  
In my heart is where you are  
Always close, everyday  
Every step along the way  
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye  
I know you will be forever in my life (yeah)  
Never gone

After the autopsy, even though one only had to look at him to determine how he died, Ryo was taken to a beautiful funeral home where the wake would be held. The only people invited were his aunt and uncle of course, and the people who had been at the scene when he had died. The rest of the precinct had wanted to come, but Berkley, who hadn't been there either, told them that it would be too crowded and unpersonal if the entire 27th showed up in one little room. Therefore the wake was kept minimized and the others were welcomed to the funeral that would take place the following day.

Dee spent most of his time either in Ryo's house, since he'd stopped paying rent and lost his apartment the previous year, or in his office, pouring over cases like they were his lifeline. The funeral was the nicest he could afford with the money he'd been saving up... Berkley and a few others offered to help pay as well but Dee refused, saying that Ryo had loved him for what he had in life and he wouldn't expect anything better in death. Almost the entire 27th showed up, since Berkley had asked the other precincts around to cover their calls for a couple hours, and the monotone of the priest's prayers drifted in the air along with the smells of the roses and sunflowers that were spred around the casket. Dee hadn't let himself cry since the day his lover had been killed, but when they went to place the casket in the ground, he let out a sound like a wounded animal and fell to his knees, rocking and holding his face in his hands as he sobbed. Others came over and tried to hold onto him but Berkley pushed them away, telling them he didn't need a crowd as he kneeled down, took Dee into his arms and held him there like a child while he cried.

After the funeral was over and Dee had finally calmed down at least enough to stand, he thanked everyone for coming and with a last look at the casket, walked slowly out of the graveyard. He'd gotten a ride there in the limo that had also borne Ryo so now he wandered out onto the street, the sunlight seeming to insult his dark mood as he walked slowly back towards the house that Ryo had so lovingly let him stay in even before they had been together...

_No no no  
I walk alone these empty streets  
There is not a second you're not here with me  
The love you gave, the grace you've shown  
Will always give me strength and be my cornerstone_

Now as he sat at his desk, staring at the desk that had remained unoccupied for so long, he could almost see Ryo sitting there glaring over at him and scolding him for not working.

"You're so lazy Dee! Why can't you ever do your share of the paperwork, huh? I'm always stuck here, doing your paperwork, while you're over there lounging in your chair, eating donuts and doing god-knows-what on your computer cause it's sure not police work!"

Yep, he could hear it now, just like he could hear Ryo complaining that he was late for dinner or that it had been his turn to cook but Bikky and himself had been so hungry that he'd ended up having to make it. Of course, with all the complaining he'd done, Ryo had always countered himself whenever someone else claimed that Dee was too lazy or wasn't a good cop.

"Don't you dare say that about Dee! He's a better cop then a lot of you in this precinct! Just cause sometimes he doesn't do the paperwork doesn't mean anything... His job is better qualified when he's out in the field chasing after murderers while the rest of you cower here behind your desks! So don't you DARE say he's not a good cop EVER!"

No one had said anything about it since then, at least not to his face, and Dee was content with that. Ryo had always stood up for him, no matter what, before and after they'd been together. Now as he sat there picturing Ryo in his mind, a small tear slid down his face, his lovers sweet, encouraging voice echoing back in his mind...

_(Somehow)  
Somehow you found a way  
To see the best I have in me  
As long as time goes on  
I swear to you that you will be_

Never gone, never far  
In my heart is where you are  
Always close (always close)  
Everyday (everyday)  
Every step along the way  
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye  
I know you will be forever in my life (in my life yeah)

After a few moments of staring at the empty desk, he left his office and got another cup of coffee, wishing he could see Ryo's annoyed face when he walked back in the office... More then just the foggy image he could conjure up if he thought hard enough. Despite all the pain he was feeling though, he knew somewhere that Ryo was watching over him... His little guardian angel there now to protect him from pain, even though his heart could never be healed from the piece that had died the same day as his lover.

The only thing that kept him going, he said when people asked how he was doing, was that he knew Ryo's death wasn't forever and that when he himself died, (Hopefully a cool death, not just dieing in his sleep or something), that Ryo would be there with open arms and a waiting kiss, just for him. Everytime he told it, he became more assured of himself and as time passed slowly, the pain in his heart lessened and his heart mended itself as best as it could, never replacing the scar that had been cut out for his love to take with him forever.

_Never gone from me  
If there's one thing I believe (I believe)  
I will see you somewhere down the road again_

Never gone, never far  
In my heart is where you are  
Always close (always close)  
Everyday (everyday)  
Every step along the way  
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye (yeah yeah)  
I know you will be forever in my life (in my life)

_Never gone, never far  
In my heart (in my heart is where) is where you are (you are)  
Always close, everyday  
Every step along the way_

Never gone, never far  
In my heart is where you are

"I love you Ryo..."

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-- So how'd you like it? I know it's been forever since I put anything up on here but I guess I just haven't been in the mood to write much. I have a bunch of songfic ideas waiting though so don't give up on me yet! Anyways, as always, please R & R and tell me if you liked it or if I've completly lost my touch, okay? Love you all:D 3


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